While at home I have been, for lack of better words, board! I have been staying mostly at my grandparents place. Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandparents but they do nothing. It seems like they are waiting to leave this earth and they will get crabby with anyone that tries to help them. I can’t help myself but to do something around the house. The house smells so I lit some candles, swept the floors, wiped off counters, cleaned out the fridge, need I go on? It is not the fact that my family needs taken care of. The problem is that it feels so lonely here. I was chatting with a friend on-line the other night and the always have the same feelings when they are here. People my age have some many opportunities. From this area they usually only follow a few paths. Stay here, get married and start a family is one. Another is go away to college. The other way is a struggle of the person hiding in fear of responsibility in which the person could either stay here or run away. In essence what I am trying to convey is that there is no one left here. If they are here, their life is rolling and it doesn’t involve much for going out with friends.
Reflecting on what I just said, some of my thoughts come from my own insecurities. I love the work that I am doing, but there is an internal conflict. I want to have a person to share life with. Do I think I am ready for marrage and to settle down with a wife? Probably not, but I keep seeing friend take that step. I think to myself that I want a relationship with someone that is at least leading to marriage. I can only say right now that I am still meeting many new people. All of them are good people and out of the women I just can’t say that I am wholly interested in building that relationship with them.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.
Hey so I saw you had this website up and running when I was on your page a while back ago and finally remembered again to come back and comment. whoops. Isn’t wordpress amazing? On your blog, I’ve always struggled with where my life was leading, what I was going to do next. I knew that God wanted me to do a year in missions before college, but as each year passed and I didn’t feel Him saying yes to the options I had before me, I kept feeling like my life was leading no where. It really is a pathetic feeling. Definately staying here, getting married is not an option for me yet. haha Don’t get me wrong, that’s a great idea, and P-ville is a nice place to raise a family..but when it comes to career options, or opportunities it’s kind of lacking. It does seem that a lot of friends now are taking that step in marriage, which is crazy..but all of us are getting to that age where it happens more.
Eventually Michael someone will come into your life, who knows when because God’s timing certainly isn’t ours. What matters most now is instead of dwelling on it, use your time to God’s advantage..and grow deeper in your relationship with Him.
Comment by erin — July 14, 2008 @ 3:35 pm